It’s my favorite time of year!!
I’m kidding. I hate this time of year. And I don’t want this post to come off as some sad single girl who always happens to be single at Valentine’s Day and hates it simply because of her perpetual singleness. But, honestly, maybe that’s just what I am now. I’ve become more cynical and sad over the years I think. It really sucks. February 14th can be a really painful reminder. I don’t want to just complain in this post, though. That is against everything I want this to stand for because romantic relationships should not be a defining feature of you as a person, though this world makes it feel like that is all that defines you. And I want this to be a fun positive post, that’s only shitting on Valentine’s Day a little, but also, you know, trying to find your own happiness without a love interest or whatever.
I hate this time of year. I really, really do. But this year, this year!!, I promise I’m not going to cry on this day. I’m not gonna do it. I’m definitely not even crying while I’m writing this post. Nope.
Anyway, now that the extremely sad and withering girl is done talking. Here’s what I want to say. I’m making a (sad) single girl’s guide to surviving valentines’ day. It’s fun ladies. Let’s have fun. Here we go.
For me, I always feel really good about myself when I wear an outfit I either just bought or something that I know looks good on me. A little bit of confidence is really needed to get through this day. And I know, believe me I know, how difficult it is to gain any confidence but it’s so so important. I also like to put on my favorite makeup and do my hair how I love it so I really feel good about myself. If a man doesn’t love me, I’ll love me. Or at least I’ll try.
Since Valentine’s day is all about love, I thought I wanted to celebrate by doing things I love. And eating. I’m going to write about baking and eating. This is just going to be a post about eating.
I found this recipe on Pinterest for a lemon-raspberry cake: nourishedkitchen.com/meyer-lemon-cake-red-raspberry-cream-frosting/
The Pinterest picture looks pretty, it’s pink and delicious. I documented some of my process making it. It didn’t go well.
And it’s totally not the recipe’s fault, I really suck at baking. I made the recipe smaller because I’m single and I think that’s what messed it up. That’s what messes everything up, honestly. The cake was so thin and terrible and I ended up cutting it into pieces to make like little cookie type things. It was really sad. Like the rest of my life. The frosting was really good though and the “cake” had a nice flavor, so I think I just messed up on my measurements or whatever.
Anyway, it didn’t make me feel any better. Maybe it even made me feel worse. But I’m sure you can find something better or maybe you’re a better baker, I don’t know. Others should try this recipe because it definitely looks like it would taste good if you know how to bake well. I guess you can’t use food to fill in for the sadness you feel. But it doesn’t hurt to try.
Also, I feel like baking and cooking has really become for me at least, some sort of therapeutic moment. I like creating something to see it become something else, and then you know having good food to eat. I like the process and the order it takes, it’s relaxing.
But this is only the beginning. We started with dessert because, you know, self-care. Now, onto wine.
Rosé. The most valentine-y, white girl drink out there. Another tip to have a great singles Valentine’s Day is to drink. Drink a lot, ladies. You’re allowed to, it’s a holiday. I actually genuinely love rosé, it’s probably my favorite alcoholic drink, I know, could I be any more of a cliché white girl?
Now for the main course. You’ve already eaten a lot of dessert, because hello you’re sad. But now it is time for some carbs. I think Valentine’s day is also all about making you feel comforted and loved, so I made some mac-and-cheese, from the box because I am a college student and not that incredible yet. Mac-and-cheese is like my comfort food. I grew up eating it all the time and it’s so warm and cozy so I felt like this day would benefit from a little comfort.
And of course, we have to watch some sort of movie because what else can you do while sobbing miserably in your bed with a full cake and a full glass of wine? As a rule, when I’m sad about being single or not having someone in my life at that moment, I cannot watch romantic movies. It’s too depressing, so guess what we’re watching this valentine’s day. A horror film, maybe Hereditary, it’s actually on Amazon Prime now, exciting. One time after a boy broke up with me, I watched The Conjuring. It didn’t make me feel any better but thank god there was no one in love in that movie. See, now I’m realizing literally no one should be listening to my advice. It doesn’t quite work, but this is fun so I’m going to keep going.
I think it’s also important to really wrap yourself up in your comforter so no one can see your face, the one that’s probably filled with tears—bye mascara. But also, the cozy factor is very important at this moment. You could even do a facemask as you lie in bed too because that also always makes me feel better. One of my favorites right now is this overnight rejuvenating mask by Bliss called What a Melon. This day is about making you feel happier than your non-single counterparts. Maybe lying in bed all day will help.
But really. If you’re single today, try to find some sort of happiness. I know all these couples and advertisements and everything can be painful and reminding you of what you wish you had, but you can get through this. I promise.
I’m not a great expert on this, because I’m young and single, in case you were unaware, but I think it’s important for everyone to feel some sort of happiness. And I know you can find it without a partner. Don’t believe what society tells you. And if you’re not single, congrats, but what the hell are you doing on my blog. Please leave. And also be nice to your single friends, they probably won’t say much, but they’re hurting. But also just leave them in peace and have a great time on your date. No mac-and-cheese for you though.
My best friend and I actually for Galentine’s Day, the day before Valentine’s Day, had a really fun evening of margaritas and pizza and stupid movies. I think surrounding yourself with friends who make you feel loved, even if you’re not being romantically loved at the moment is really important. Maybe that’s the best advice I can give to any other sad single girls. Look for where the love is. You have it in your life, and just because it’s not a boyfriend or a girlfriend doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.
I feel like I gave almost no helpful tips in this piece and honestly, I’m feeling a little worse about myself writing this so who knows? Maybe I shouldn’t have called this a guide because this is mostly just me complaining and crying. Or just another Thursday in my world. So I’m sorry about that.
Let’s talk though, ladies. Tell me some fun stories about being single or your worst dates because this is a day about us trying to live when everyone is shoving their perfectly happy love stories in our faces. It will all be okay someday. I hope.